& i hear the sounds of lizards again -.- its freaky how lizards can be so small but terrible. I hate the way they stick themselves on the ceilings than drop down like nobody's business. They make weird sounds & the best thing is im afraid of them though my hands are bigger than them.
HAHA. so should i continue with my lizard story? lolxsx.

K hi world. Im stressed out by all the application/enrolment forms needed to be submitted by 14th. Im sure gonna be dead coz im damn confused right now. They're asking for too much that my brain can't really remember what they want. Well actually everything's easy, 've booked an app for the configurations of laptop & the filling up of forms are also ok. Its only the picture part where they expect a soft copy & also the tuition grant(s) part. Its making me crazy -.-

So anyways, went to work just now & there were 3 kids who stole. Well according to one of them, its only one kid who stole so his mum was being called down. So the thing is, the way they respond when they were caught red-handed was the look of pure innocence on their face. I thought & i was praying my manager wouldnt call the police up coz they're still young. But after witnessing that child(the one who stole), i think he should be in the boys home right now. His attitude's very very BAD. Its more than bad, his attitude's like Satan. Imagine him shouting at his mum "shut-up la" while his mum is talking to him. & the worst thing is, his mum kept quiet. His mum was afraid of him. Right, so kid, you better thank god that ur mum was willing to pay for the item u stole or else you'd be in the lock-up right now. U darn ass kid. How could u even shout at ur mum like that. I feel like killing u, i never thought someone could be so mean. Right after ur mum took the trouble to come down for u, right after she suffered 9 painful months just to introduce this world to u, this is what ure gonna repay her? I've got no comments about u, seriously. U should just pray ur mum will forgive u no matter what happens, u should just pray nothing bad will happen to her, u should just pray Allah will forgive u for doing this to HIS humble servant who wants nothing but the best for you. God bless you kid.

Being in a cool-off state is not a reason why i shouldn't acknowledge the 31st month of our relationship. First of all, im never the kind who comes up with cheesycheesy kind of words to let my boyfriend know how much i love him. But this time, i suppose i really need to crack my brains because he has done too much for me & i will never never will be able to do everything that he has done for me. So this is one way i think can at the very least show him how much i appreciate all that he has done for me. I don't know how long im capable of typing, but i know that everything will come from my heart. When someone else sees & read this, they'll think its disgusting, its over, its ridiculous for him to be this great of a boyfriend at such a young age(well at least not yet 20). But no one will ever know how great he is & i can never find someone like him ever.
I thought i wouldnt be able to trust him ever after what he has done but he proved me wrong. He proved to me how much he still treasure & love me, he proved that he's human & makes mistakes but it'll only happen once & never will happen again. I thought maybe we were too young back then to think right about this relationship, i thought maybe we had our own reasons why everything happen. I think im a bad bad person coz he's really the one who will ALWAYS go the extra mile for me, he's the one who will always sacrifice for me. Like by spending the whole day trying hard to get an mc so that he could skip camp for a day & bring me shopping. Like by always trying to cook what i feel like eating although we both know he's a bad cook. Like by always willing to spend his whole pay on me & has never complaint anything even though he doesnt gets anything for himself. Like by making me a happy girl when he brought me to the zoo & the universal studio. Like by accompanying me to ride the mummy twice eventhough he's super afraid of it. Like making me a small kid saying that if i pass & get on to poly, he would get me a school bag & a laptop sleeve(& he really did get me the nixon bagpack eventhough it was very costly, & he says he's going to get me a MBMJ laptop sleeve soon). He puts me ahead of everything else, even when he has plans on that day, he's still willing to put it on hold just to accompany me. Sometimes i feel so bad coz i thought it wasnt right that he makes me his top priority.
He never leaves me alone when i had problems with friends or family or when i had something not right in mind. He's there, always willing to stay up late till night to listen to my complaints, my rants, my curses. He never once complained each time i vent my anger on him. Others may criticise him saying he's not good-looking, he's short but i don't care coz all i know is he's almost perfect in my eyes. He never does complain although sometimes i put my friends ahead of him & forget about him when im out with them. He never does complain when i cancel our date & choose to go out with my friends, instead he'll always ask me to enjoy myself. He never does compare or get fed-up with me when i spend too much time with friends like some other guys who'll show their attitude. He's always patient with me & accepts all my flaws whole-heartedly. Come to think about it, im a very lucky girl to have a guy who never fails to put a smile on my face every morning with his silly morning texts & who never fails to make me laugh when he knows im very angry with him. Than sometimes i hate myself for laughing over his lame jokes. ;/
If i keep on going, i bet i'll just jam this whole blogger.com site. All he needs to know is, I Love Muhammad Irwan Bin Roslan ;) <3

OHH I AM SO HAPPY TODAY. Ok i seem to have this special ability of "seeing the future", not as accurate but 80% yes. Like how i dreamt i was getting into the course i got, like how i dreamt about my olevels results for both years, like how i had the super strong feeling of the enrolment pack coming in today, THOSE are the good things but one thing bad was when i had the feeling dad has passed away before we even reached the hospital(& so there, it was so true T.T).
Received my enrolment package today, so i thought i was the only who snapped a picture of it but there was some too who even posted it up on facebook. -.-
When i received those, i felt the excitement. Im weird but im sick of holidays. I can't believe it after looking at sem 1's time table, just after 2 months of school, there'll be 5 weeks of holidays AGAIN. fml.

Do we look good together? HAH. random.

Ok so hi, im rotting. I just counted back the hours i've worked coz the cut off date for the next salary is on the 20th. So expecting not much coz a total of close to a hundred dollars of shortage. 3 times shortage added up in total was what i meant. K stop. Forget about that.

I don't know if we ever did ended with a conclusion. Maybe i'd just assume? I don't know. But I know you'll understand & accept my every decision made. Goodnight dear~

Thank You boyfriend, I love you

So today i thought i was going to get my MJ lapps sleeve but guess i have to wait for next month. Budget's tight this month, well for some reasons, that idiot is a jinx in my life that explains why i gotta save hard this month. Hi jinx, please do get away far from me as much as possible. I know we're working at the same place & its quite impossible to avoid seeing you but OH ALLAH please! Know why you're a jinx? Coz you were the reason for both the times i had to pay for shortages. REALLY, seriously. You've proven to me that you're a f jinx in my life coz HELLO??!!! You caused me to be in trouble TWICE! First it was 23bucks, now its close to double, 50 bucks?!! Darn you smelly idiot. I will always hate you, ty.
So finally i bought a school bag, correction, BF bought me a schoolbag. The first time i set my eyes on that orange nixon bag, i know i was SO going to get it come what may. HAHA. Thankyou boyfriend^^ Well as usual, headed to flea but SAME old thing, boring~~~ Boyfriend shopped at Animal, i sebok2 only. & because i had to rush the Jen's house, nothing much happened.
Except that i was so shock this afternoon, the wind was so strong that the trees fell all over. & there had to be the emergency cross line across certain places. Looks like it was a mini-typhoon.
I feel like quitting but i can't stand rotting at home till april. T_T One jinx can cause me such misery, i hate it so much. I really hate him. Even the newbies does. No one likes him, he's sour, he's rude, he's weird, he's smelly, he's all the bad things you can imagine. AHHH i hate you mister.

Digging back old memories from my memory stick than i saw my first trip to USS pictures & i suddenly miss those times so much. I love that day, it was awesome!! & i can't wait to go uss with my girls in may & & & boyfriend's bringing me there again SOON. yeay^^
Right, now gotta go get ready for work ;( I feel like quitting but i cant because i wanna go shop like crazy for manymany things. So envy Kelda coz she bought all the stuffs for school already but me? tsk. I've been going to animal these past few weeks to shop, OMG. & i realised i got almost all their designs except for the ugly ones which i didnt like. & i think, its enough. AHH but how, this saturday bf wanna go there to get some tees, i'll be tempted to buy again. OHH NO cannotcannotcannot!

Thats it. I've had enough.
I don't know why are people giving me that OMG-are-you-serious-ur-gg-to-rp kind of face, what the hell is wrong with the school? Has it been cursed by some bomoh that everybody despise it so much? They say, people who are desperates, who doesnt have any choice goes rp but i think its so f wrong. coz i've got friends who score less than 15 points who still wants to go to that school coz the course they want is THERE, IN RP. but why the kind of impression rp has on students sucks ttm? -.-
i love the course i got, im super damn thankful that i got this course coz i BADLY want this. & aside from rp, np also has a similar course to the one i want BUT the cop is like a fcuking 9 points? so u think? tell u what la people, stop giving me that KIND of face ok. we all have our own fate, we all have different brains. just because you scored a single digit for 5 subs doesnt mean u can just judge others like that. u've got ur own stupid interest & i've got my very own interest. please stfu. i'd rather be doing what i love & what i want in a school that i don't really like rather than doing a course that you hate like crazy but in a school u love ttm. afterall, u'd be learning about the course & not the school. all u get after going into a good school is just name. all u get is "woaaaaaah". stop judging others. stop looking down on others. stop.

& because you made me cry yesterday, i feel like hating you forever. I hate you, i really do.
Please die. Please do.

When i was 5, mum asked what i wanted to be when i grow up,
I answered, a cashier.
When i went to primary school, mum asked the same thing,
I answered, a teacher.
When i went to secondary school, mum asked again.
I answered, a lawyer.
Now, mum asked me again. I answered, I don't know mum.
While we're still young, we ought to treasure & make full use of the chances given to us. We ought to treasure time much more, using every single second thinking of what we wanna do in the future. Im trying my best to think hard, REAL hard.

Sometimes when i look at my facebook account, I just feel like deactivating it. HAHA. Coz its getting so boring -.- I don't really know what to do with it anymore aside from updating status/uploading photos(if there is).
Hate busybodies. -.-

Hi. I feel like a failure. I feel like a loser. I feel like a sore loser. Even after the second attempt, im still unable to get the COP of the course i want. I don't know. With just this purely dissapointing results, I don't know what I can do in my life right now. So what if my agg allows me to go for a poly education but at last i'll be studying a course i don't really want? Actually, I don't really know what i want right now, really. SIGHS.
Im not getting any younger, Im already a year older this year. I can't afford to waste more time knowing that my chances are just so-so. I'll just wait for the results of the JAE posting. If I can't really open my heart to that particular course, guess i'll have to think of another way out. One thing for sure, Im not going to take up any private route(I hope). Lets just see, im not sure myself if i wanna go RP. I don't wanna waste another year just to retake 1 freaking subject. What if the same thing happens? No, im no longer willing to take the risk. Im too tired to study like crazy the way i did last year. My hard work for eng & humans definitely paid off well. A little for science & a ZERO for maths. My hardwork for maths totally went down the drain. I feel like crying out loud when i saw the results of my Maths. SIGHS.
God please guide me.

Hi dear. The results are confirmed to be out on monday. I was eating halfway after a long tiring day of cashier-ing/inventory when the news just appeared right before my very eyes. & now i've got no mood to eat. I was thinking, would it be tears of joy? Or tears of sadness? Or tears of regrets? I don't know, i can't really explain my feeling right now. Im tired & I can't stop thinking about my results. I doubt I can do well, or even just to meet the needs of applying for polytechnic. I don't know. When i think about how i studied, i guess i won't really meet my target. When i think about last year, January 10, 2010, the way i broke down & just kept crying, I DON'T KNOW. I feel like killing myself already. I feel like I don't even want to see the results. I feel like I'd rather die than even see the results. You're sleeping right now i guess, you must be feeling very tired especially this week thats filled with rehearsals over & over again. I know you'd just tell me off for thinking too much & for thinking that im sure to flunk again. I hope when you see this post, it'll be on monday after 2pm when everything's over. & i hope when it ends, there'll be a big smile on my face, i pray for that. I feel like crying while typing this, i don't really know why but really. Right now, its only god's will. I believe that everything Allah plans for us is the best & nothing can be better than HIS plans. I believe Allah has HIS reason for doing everything. Im trying to believe that when we have faith, we'll succeed. Im trying to believe that I did my best & I know i can make it. Im trying to believe that my hard work will not go to a waste. Im trying to believe that my sleepless nights will all be worth. Im trying to believe that Allah will give me a chance to succeed this time around. Insyaallah, amin.

Hi, its been so long since i typed out an entry up here. Bf's not doing his job either, its his blog & he should be doing this but nvm -.- So today, first day of a new job. No i mean, same place, same people but a whole new different job. & i love this new job compared to the old one. Wrapping is a misery. -.- So all praises to the almighty that christmas season is over, no more wrapping of BICYCLES & weird shapes. haha.
Can i type it out here about someone i really hate? I hate her ttm. Idk why. I think she's a very kpo person, k maybe i bebual melayu lagi bagus jadi die tak boleh faham KALAU die nmpk post ni pon. Hah. K, die kpo ttm, aku macam nak campak telur busuk pat die. balik negeri tanak, dtg sini nak menyusahkan hidup org. Kau jgn kpo dgn keje aku bleh tak? AHHH very geram -.- Lagi satu kali kau bully _______, tegur mest tegur nye ah. kite keje semue same pe, kau baru die pon baru, kau nak bully die asal? nb. -.-' wo pu xi huan ni, pengyou.
K da cukup. -_________________________________________-

Yeay im superhappygilebabi coz bf's going to pop this weekend! but cannot go his graduation ;( saturday full shift T.T